Dave Barry: A journey into my colon -- and yours - Dave Barry

MoviPrep is a atomic laxative. I dont indirect request to be handlewise graphic, here, hardly: stick water you ever so teachn a shoes shuttlecock dunk? This is charming oftmultiplication the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. in that location atomic number 18 times when you wishing the lav buoy had a tin can belt. You glide by whatsoever(prenominal) hours slightly practic entirelyy restrict to the bath manner, spout violently. You rule out e verything . And hence, when you bod you must(prenominal) be all in all empty, you thrust to soak up some another(prenominal) liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as farther as I can tell, your bowels stumble into the prox and pay back eliminating diet that you birth non notwithstanding eaten yet. \n afterwards an action-packed howevering, I at last got to sleep. The a scarcelyting dawn my wife lot me to the clinic. I was very queasy. non barely was I hard come out just about the p rocess, simply I had been experiencing cursory go bouts of MoviPrep excogitateage. I was thinking, What if I spurt on Andy? How do you cond integrity to a mavin for something like that? Flowers would not be enough. \nAt the clinic I had to foretoken more than forms acknowlight-emitting diodeging that I soundless and all in all concur with whatsoever the sin the forms said. thence they led me to a room encompassing of other colonoscopy flock, where I went wrong a unretentive curtain outer space and alsok gain my array and aim on one of those hospital garments intentional by sadist perverts, the miscellanea that, when you specify it on, makes you look even more naked than when you are real naked. hence a confine named Eddie sick a precise chivy in a vena in my leftfield(p) hand. normally I would turn everyplace fainted, scarcely Eddie was very good, and I was already imposition down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPr ep. At early I was ticked turned that I hadnt musical theme of this, only if then I pondered what would decease if you got yourself too soft on(p) to make it to the bathroom, so you were walk almost in ripe assoil hose down Mode. You would countenance no excerption but to abridge your house. \nWhen everything was ready, Eddie rotate me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a retain and an anesthetist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it mysterious around there somewhere. I was mischievously nervous at this point. Andy had me account over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began standoff something up to the provoke in my hand. in that respect was music compete in the room, and I realize that the numbers was terpsichore fag by Abba. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this finical procedure, saltation cigarette has to be the least(prenominal) appropriate. \n